


Almost Lover

by Zoeatthedisco



Category: Carry On - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff and Angst, I got no idea what I'm doing but here we are, It's just so said at the start, M/M, Songfic, but it'll get better, i almost cried writing this, probably
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-15
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-09-17 15:05:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9330665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zoeatthedisco/pseuds/Zoeatthedisco
Summary: Based of the song 'Almost Lover'Simon Snow is all Baz has ever wanted, but all he couldn't have, and when school ends and Simon is still with Agatha, Baz can't help but be crushed.





	1. The end is only the beginning

**Author's Note:**

> It's all Baz's pov just as a fyi.  
> The things in *stars* are the song lyrics btw  
> And suggestions to help me are always welcome!

He was my everthing, I loved him, I never said a thing, I failed, I've lost him.  
  
*But I never want to see you unhappy, I thought you'd want the same for me*  
  
He chose Agatha, not that I ever said I was a choice.  
  
*Goodbye my Almost Lover, Goodbye my hopeless dreams*  
  
He said goodbye for one last time, his face soft, I almost thought I saw regret in his eyes.  
  
*I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?*  
  
He has been the only thing on my mind, I'm such a wreck.  
  
*So long my luckless romance*  
  
Did I not try hard enough?  
  
*My back is turned on you*  
  
I have to move on.  
  
*Should have known you'd bring me heartache*  
  
But I can't help and wonder what he thinks of me now.  
  
*Almost Lovers always do*  
  
Goodbye Simon Snow, I hope this isn't the last.


	2. Cp.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't try to antagonize Agatha but I needed plot and here we are.

It's been one year, one year since I've said goodbye to Simon Snow. It's been one year and Simon is still all I think about. Everything reminds me of him, I couldn't even enjoy my family vacation. Because the sea reminded me of his eyes, the boys with bronze curly hair seemed to be endless, and I knew that he would love every single thing about that island.  
  
Penny told me Simon and Agatha moved to London, she said she'd be willing to move in with me there, if the was even the off chance we'd see Simon. Penny had to say goodbye to Simon too, Agatha never liked Penny much anyways. I almost want to agree, we both need a place to live, and I just want to see Simon again, even if the chances are slim to none.  
  
We got a letter in the mail inviting us to a ball from Lady Salisbury, we might just go. There's supposed to be a lot of people from the wizarding there. It'd be a good idea to get out with others, me and Penny haven't in a while.  
  
I love dressing up as much as Penny hates it, I skim over some of my suits and settle on a red one while Penny stresses over the fact we need to go shopping for her. The ball is tomorrow so we head out and go to the nearest mall.  
  
Penny just about settled on a dress when we hear a familiar voice.  
"I know mom, just, can't I use an old dress?"  
It sounds like Agatha, it couldn't be, right?  
"No darling, we need a new one for the ball." A voice I don't recall, but Penny seemed to recognize it.  
"Basil," she pulls at my arm. "Let's take the dress and go" I agree and we check out in a rush.


	3. Cp. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I changed the grey suit to red btw. Oh and yeah! I updated for once in forever!

The day of the ball starts off with tea and scones, just the way a soon to be exhausting day should. Penny makes sour cherry scones, she says it's a reminder of the good days. Even if it reminds us of Simon, it reminds us of when we still had him.  
  
"Baz." Penny puts the plate of scones on the coffee table. "Are you sure we should go to this ball?"  
  
"We've put in all this trouble already, might as well." But I also think Simon might be there. I so desperately need to see him, even just a glimpse, one more time.  
  
"I guess," Penny sits on the couch "Do you think we'll see him?"  
  
I set down the tea and sigh, I know Penny wants to see Simon just as much as me, maybe even more.  
  
"That was Agatha in the store you know? I recognised her and her mother's voice." Penny seems like she just wants to crawl into a ball.  
  
"Simon usually is where Agatha is, Crowley I hope we see him."  
  
Penny gives me a sad smile and goes back to the scones and we finish them in relative silence.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
"Basil!" I hear Penny yelling from her room. "Help me with this dress!"  
  
I laugh as I enter her room, she can't zip up the back and is desperately clawing at the zipper trying to get a grip on it.  
  
"Stop laughing!" She says to me while laughing at herself all the same.  
  
"Aren't you worried about me seeing you half dressed?" I tease.  
  
"Oh hush up you useless gay and zip me up!"  
  
I love it when we are just able to relax like this, joke about stupid things and not be stressed over adult things.  I finish zipping her up and she turns around.  
  
"So?" She asks.  
  
"We still need to do your hair and possibly makeup but other wise? Stunning, you'll seduce all them boys!"  
  
"Baz!" She laughs, but she knows it's a compliment from me all the same. "I see you got all suited up! And it isn't a lame black suit! It's red!"  
  
I smile and try smooth out non-existing wrinkles. "You know I was never a fan of the ordinary."  
  
"Of course you aren't, now come on, you know you're the best at hair and makeup."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last time I updated this I wasn't a Hamilton fan but now I am and you have no idea how many times I almost put Peggy instead of Penny


	4. The ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking forever to update this!! also it's kind of a short one to. I've always been a slow writer and I just started a brand new school so I've been caught up in that. But hopefully y'all will like this!

One hour, that's how long it took to do both mine and  
Pennys makeup. Penny doesn't get why I bother with makeup, she says that I should take full advantage of the fact that society is as demanding on men about makeup. I don't care much about that, I only use a small amount anyways. Penny has me call a cab about five minutes before she thinks we'll be ready. Once we're waiting outside Penny tugs at my jacket.  
"Hey Basil, are you ready for this?"  
"I've been to plenty of balls Penny, it'll be fine."  
"That's not- nevermind"  
"Pen?"  
"Basil, you know that's a ridiculous nickname." She laughs  
"You know you love it." I see the cab pull up in front of us and I pull Penney as we walk towards it.  
"All in all Basil, Simon most likely will be there, you going to be ok?"  
"Don't worry Pen," I say as we get in the car. "We'll be ok"

\----

"Why did I bring my small purse again?"  
"Because it goes with the outfit Penny."  
"But Basil!" She jokingly whines. "How can I fit all the hors d'œuvres in my bag now?"  
That does make me laugh. "Penny we don't need your bag to stink up the ride home, and besides, if Simon is truly here he'll have eaten them all ready."  
We've just stepped into the ballroom, arm in arm. The ballroom is breathtaking. High vaulted ceilings all of it a reminiscent of the Victorian era. Theres a grand staircase that a majority of the food has been placed. Chandeliers lit up the room and people all around the room danced in lavish outfits.  
"You care for a dance?" Penny asks me, she does a little bow and extends her hand.  
"Why of course my lady! Who could resist?" I laugh along with Penny as we dance along to the beat of the music. Her dress is a lot less clingy than I thought it would be.   
We aren't dancing for very long before Penny excuses herself to get some food. I watch her move away and take a moment to reflect on what people around us must be thinking. Me, in a red suit, and Penny in a Navy blue dress that has a belt around the middle separating the tight of the top and the loose flowy skirt. I know what they must be thinking, so I walk towards the front of the room and take a drink from one of the trays floating around (and yes actually floating I guess only magicians were invited). It's then I hear a voice that makes me stop.  
"Agatha, can't I just go find the food already?" It's him, I know Penny is by the food, I know how much Penny wants to see him.  
"Simon!" Agatha laughs. "We just got here first of all, secondly, it's proper to dance before at least for a little."  
My skin feels colder than normal, and I don't know what to do. Do I find Penny? Do I somehow single out Simon? It all seems like the wrong answer, so I just stand there. Then I see him, spinning Agatha a little before pulling her in. He looks up and I think he catches a glance at me because he stops, just for a moment, but I don't watch what he does next. I go find Penny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try to update this again soon, but thanks to everyone who left kudos and comments!! I love y'all so much!


End file.
